Everybody always wants something they don't currently have; whether that be a different job, a nicer house, to lose weight, more money, a boyfriend, a new car, a holiday.. the list goes on. I think it's great for everyone to have something to work towards and to aspire to. I also think it's important to focus on the things that we're happy with right now. There are always going to be things that we want to change but it's easy to lose sight of what we already have.
The one thing that I want to do more than anything is travel. I'd put all of my focus on going travelling after my surgery to help me deal with my situation. It was exciting and having this as my focus kind of made me forget about the seriousness of my surgery. When I found out I might have to put travelling off for quite some time while I'm recovering, it was extremely upsetting. Meanwhile, quite a few of my friends have locked in plans to go overseas and are basically living my dream.
I started to feel trapped and resented my situation and the fact I can't just book in a trip like all of my friends. It can be hard to stay positive when it feels as though the one thing you want to do is out of reach and out of your control.
I have to remember that my surgery is saving my life and ultimately will allow me to do everything I want to do (even though it might take me a little bit longer than everybody else to get there). It's very unfortunate that I've inherited a gene so life-changing but it's something I have to accept. A wise person once told me that when I feel as though things are spiraling out of control and I feel overwhelmed, it's best to focus on the things I can control. Simple but effective.
I can't plan for the future right now but that's not going to stop me from planning my dream holiday during my recovery for when I am eventually able to book it and go. I also thought it would be a good idea to list everything that I can be thankful for right now. Christmas is a hard time for me but it's also a good time to recognize everything and everyone I already have in my life that I'm truly grateful for (in no particular order).
Things I'm Thankful For
1. My family - we haven't had it easy but we always stick together and I know I can count on them when I need it
2. My little baby nephews who are growing up far too quickly
3. My amazing friends - I couldn't ask for a better group of friends who will support me through anything and are basically like a family to me
4. Memories - I've lost far too many people already in my life but I'm grateful for the time I had with these people and the memories I have of them
5. My health and fitness - I'll have a much better chance of everything going to plan and recovering from surgery quickly being that I'm already fit and healthy
6. The travel I've already been able to do - limited but I wouldn't take back any of my adventures for the world
7. Living in the best city in Australia
8. Living in a nice house
9. Having a good job - frustrates me at times but I'm sure this is the case with most jobs
10. Food.. I love food and am enjoying as much as I can while I still can. I've gained a few extra pounds but this could be a good thing as I could lose up to 20% of my weight post surgery
11. Good books
12. All of the TV shows I love.. there are far too many and this takes up far too much of my time. But is enjoyable nonetheless
14. The beach
15. My freedom and independence
17. Music, festivals and all of the bands I've been able to see live
|Paramore - Soundwave 2010|
|Green Day, 2009|
|Happy watching a band at The Falls Festival|
18. My ability to sing
19. Living in great country with access to an amazing healthcare system
20. Weekends and holidays.. who doesn't love these!
Thanks for reading. I hope everyone has a great New Year with exciting things to come in 2014! Look forward to writing about my road trip to Sydney this time next week!